Today I was visiting with a teacher who was sharing how his year had gone and how happy he was that it is now summer. It was bittersweet because while he is ready for his summer plans, he misses the kids and the routine- and he experiences this “happy melancholy” every year.
When I asked him if he ever had years that he didn’t miss anyone and was glad to close the book on a school year he said emphatically, “No!” As a parent of a ‘tween’ and having observed how some kids can be I thought this was curious.
He said because of his nighttime habit (that originally started as a school assignment some years ago) it is very difficult to dwell in any negativity of the job. The habit is journaling in a Gratitude Diary. He had seen studies that show incredible effects for people who keep one of these and he wanted to try it for a semester with the students.
The assignment was that every school night, for 2 whole 9-week terms, the kids were to write at least 3 things before going to bed that they were grateful for that day. At the end of the semester they would look through their journals and share if they felt like it.
What he found is that not only did the kids happily comply with the assignment but they typically did it 7 nights a week, not just the 5 required school nights. They did it over breaks and days off and many of the families of the students joined the assignment as well. It became dinner conversation, breakfast topics, and even text messaging fodder for many more people than he had ever intended.
The reports from the parents that he had gotten after the first several weeks were that while they still had the typical middle-school kid behaviors in general, they were surprised to see how much less their kids were complaining (teen drama), and how “lights out” compliance had increased…without a fight.
This was fascinating to me for a variety of reasons; particularly the bedtime changes. The parents who participated apparently were experiencing less stress and felt “happier” even though the assignment led right through the holiday season where stress typically tends to increase for a lot of people. Getting to sleep faster and sleeping sounder was attributed to doing the assignment before bed.
After some introductory research I found that people who would rate their level of satisfaction with their lives at more than 4 on a scale of 1 to 7 also report having less stress, better sleep, more motivation to exercise and were even shown to maintain healthier weight over time. What can reinforce satisfaction more that actively acknowledging what you are thankful for?
It makes sense if you think about it. It is more than simply “counting your blessings.” Focusing on the positive elements in your life before you go to bed as opposed to stewing about all that is wrong would naturally put most people in the perfect frame of mind for better sleep.
As well, staying in control of your emotional responses by not letting negativity carry you away is a critical element is staying on top of stress. Stress drives blood pressure through the roof, interferes with healthy sleep patterns, and keeps us from reaching our weight loss goals, as well as causing a host of other problems.
Tension headaches and tight, painful neck muscles could finally wash themselves away in a tide of gratitude and peace if given the chance. Think about what stresses you out and then think about what makes you happy. The stress increases your likelihood of experiencing pain and focusing on positive, empowering thoughts can create the opposite effect.
I have to admit that even I would have trouble coming up with 3 things that I am grateful for day after day, especially if I wanted to make them different items every day. But maybe that’s the secret to the success of that exercise…forcing us out of our natural predisposition to complain and worry.
This is my challenge to you, then. Give this exercise of keeping a Gratitude Diary a try for 2 months and see where you are at the end of that brief journey. My guess is that you would be in a similar place that the students and their families were during their experience with it. See what focusing more on what went right in your day as opposed to what went wrong (or what will go wrong the next day) might do for your blood pressure, sleep, or general well-being.
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